Thank you to author, Daniela Tilbrook, for sharing her journey to writing Not My Shame: Healing Childhood Trauma. Her story of navigating self-doubt, reclaiming her voice, and turning a long-held dream into a published book is both inspiring and instructive. For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, reading about her process offers hope, practical insight, and encouragement to embark on their own healing and self-expression. –
To purchase Daniela’s book please follow the link at the foot of the page.
A Writers Journey – Daniela Tilbrook
My book writing journey I never imagined that a single thought could change the course of my life. Twenty-one years ago, I planted a seed: I would write a book about workplace bullying. I knew all the tactics—how bullies isolate, intimidate and undermine their targets—and I was determined to expose their tricks. But I hadn’t reckoned with my inner critic.
“Don’t be silly—a whole book? You can barely manage a blog post.”
“It would be too hard.”
“You wouldn’t even try.”
“People like you don’t write books.”
“You’re a loser.”
Back then, I gave that inner voice far too much air time. Each negative thought felt like a stone tied around me, dragging me down.
Building Confidence, One Thought at a Time
Over the years, I worked on my self-esteem, assertiveness, and confidence. I toyed with the idea of writing a book on self-esteem and even joined the Hay House Writers Community, dreaming of becoming a Hay House author alongside Louise Hay, Gabby Bernstein, Joe Dispenza, and Pam Grout. I stayed in the membership for years, imagining the day I might enter their writers’ competition but I never dared submit a proposal.
When I finally admitted I needed help, I hired a book coach. It was expensive, but it kept the dream alive. With every session, I realised I was writing from the wound—I wasn’t fully healed, and I lacked the wisdom to finish the project.
Next, I enrolled in Gabby Bernstein’s bestseller masterclass. Slowly, I discovered my core message: self-esteem, confidence, and assertiveness. Yet, deep down, I yearned to write about childhood trauma. Every time someone asked, “What’s your book about?” I hesitated. It was easier to say “self-esteem” than to admit I was writing about childhood sexual abuse.
From Notes to Narrative
I collected notebooks, scribbled chapter titles, outlines, and ideas in countless places—phone notes, handwritten pages, even a Bluetooth keyboard that paired with my notebook. The chaos was stifling; I needed structure.
Then, in November 2023, Marcus Young, a gifted book coach, entered my life. He introduced me to beta readers and held my hand through twice-weekly Zoom sessions. I even went to Amsterdam to work side by side with him. When I nervously asked, “Will there really be a book?” he simply replied, “That’s up to you.” His words ignited ownership in me—my book’s destiny was in my hands.
Setting a Deadline and Delivering
I aimed to publish on my birthday in 2024 but missed the deadline. Undeterred, I set my sights on PTSD Awareness Day—June 27, 2025—giving myself six months to execute. With a concrete date, the luxury of “plenty of time” vanished. I put in the hours, built my deep-work muscle, and finished the first draft, then the second, and so on.
When I discovered my chapters jumped around too much, I reorganized the first half chronologically. That decision cost me weeks of work—but no shortcuts would honor the story I needed to tell. After three painstaking weeks, I sent the revised manuscript to my beta readers, holding my breath.
Promoting and Proofing
While my readers offered encouraging feedback, I realised the journey wasn’t over. I emailed Hal Elrod—whose book The Miracle Morning inspired my 5am routine—to pitch a podcast interview. I also tapped my Heroic PBC (Public Benefit Corporation) community for coaching on podcast prep, landing a Luminary guest spot before my Hal Elrod appearance.
I set up my Kindle Direct Publishing account, opened pre-orders, and watched my community rally behind me. As my final draft took shape, I learned Vellum, the formatting software beloved by indie authors. Formatting felt like the last 5% of a mountain climb—it took three weeks of meticulous work to perfect chapter breaks, journaling prompts and styles.
Finally, I ordered a proof copy. When the books arrived, I gasped—my table of contents was missing! Calmly, I fixed the export, reordered, and had physical books in hand with a week to spare.
Ready, Set, Launch
My local coffee shop lent me a card reader that I could use at the book launch and I counted down the final days. I reflected on how that timid idea from two decades ago had grown into something real, tangible and deeply meaningful.
What began as a dream—never more than a whisper amid my inner critic’s roar—blossomed into a published memoir, a healing guide and what I hope is a beacon for survivors. Now, as I prepare to share Not My Shame: Healing Childhood Trauma with the world, I know this journey has only just begun.
To order the book please follow: Not My Shame: Healing Childhood Trauma
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